My, my.....how time flies.............

Looking back, I realize that it has almost been a year since I blogged. So much of our lives have changed in this past year! God's love and mercy have surrounded me and my family. We have been given blessings that I dreamt about for so long. We have added many friends to our lives and have been incredibly blessed by how the Lord is working in our hearts.

One of the first major changes is our address! We purchased a new home in May of 2011. Just the very fact of me saying it still makes me feel as if I am dreaming! I had such specific things I wanted, that I thought I would never find that "perfect" house for us, unless we had it built! Since that was not an option, we began our search...........and what a long search it was! It felt like years, but I guess in all actuality, it was months! lol! To my friend and Realtor, Charnelle, it probably felt like an eternity too! We knew that this home was made for us as soon as we walked in the door........truly. It was everything that we wanted and more! We have all adjusted well and the kids are enjoying their new schools!

Speaking of school...........about a month after moving into our new home, I received my acceptance letter into Nursing School. What an amazing blessing and surprise! I know that EVERYTHING happens in God's timing, but this was such a great example of HIS perfect timing! I am so happy to say that I am only 1.5 miles from my school and 1 mile from the Mr. Man and Gertie's school! We were spending so much money in gas and the time driving was a huge burden on everyone. School has been a challenge........They say if you can make it past the first semester, you can make it....I am happy to say that I am in my 2nd semester! I have learned so much and am excited to see what the future holds for me in this field!

I decided to write to catch everyone up on some major changes in our lives, and to get the therapeutic effects from it! I will try and be better about blogging............

Until then....
Blessings,
Kim

Today is a new day. One filled with possibilites.

You see that is what I have to tell myself.

I have been struggling lately. Hard.

I have bought ring-side tickets to the hottest show going right now.

Satan has been selling his lies to me, and I have bought them.

Every one.

You know the ones, I am sure that they are familiar to most of us.

"You are not a good wife, mother or friend.
Your house is filthy and you could be doing better on your school work.
Look at your "temple" is this a place where God truly resides?
You should just give up."

Feelings of being so overwhelmed with it all have consumed me for months. I think that I have done a pretty good job of hiding behind the smiles, but knowing that it is a lie just makes me feel worse.

Then, just like He ALWAYS does, my God reminds me that I am His.

I am His creation.

Not perfect, just forgiven.

Within my flaws is where I find His strength. Strength for days when even my fat clothes don't fit, and when my children don't listen to a word I have said. Strength when I don't think I can muster up enough gumption to do my homework or be the wife that I am called to be.

Philippians 3:12-14 says: "Not that I have already attained or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Oh yeah, that'll preach! We are to strive DAILY to reach the goal. I think of this verse like a runner: they may be able to run, but they are constantly after a better time or speed. They are constantly looking forward to the next time that they run so that they may get to the ultimate goal. They know that they are really only competing against themselves. It is never about another runner, just trying to do better than their last run. They don't look behind, because the journey has to be your own.

I realize that life is one big run. Although I am not a "runner", I know that this constant track that I am on can get scary. It can be overwhelming. It can paralyze us with fear.

I know that I am called to be different, but when I act like the world and carry the same fears and worries of the world, is that being different? I need to be reminded that God doesn't ask us to have mountains of faith to move the world...........He asks us to have the faith of the grain of a mustard seed.

Really?

That's it?

Simple and uncomplicated.

Gotta love it.

So while I am praying to rid myself of these ring-side tickets, I will pray that God will move mountains in your life.

Have an incredibly blessed day and remember that God loves you.

Even when your fat clothes don't fit!

Blessings,

Kim

There are no words......

(I started writing this a few weeks ago, and could not finish it. I wanted to put these feelings into words.)

I realize that I have not posted anything since September 27. I would normally apologize and tell you that I have been insanely busy, but this time it is different.

Three days after I posted that, my world was turned upside down. If you recall, I asked for prayer for my Uncle. He went into the hospital on September 25 for an open lung biopsy. We were told that it is very routine and that he should be home in two days. I spent the day with him before and after his surgery. On the following day, Saturday, I couldn't go to the hospital because I had a 1,000 word paper due on Sunday (I know, procrastination :o/ ). On Sunday, we took the kids and spent the day with him at the hospital. He was laughing and joking around with the kids....just like normal.

On Monday, I had planned on going later that evening, but couldn't go. I knew from my Mom that he had taken a turn for the worst and was not doing well.

They had intubated him.

One of the things that he never wanted.

So on Tuesday, I went to the hospital to see him. I can hardly describe what I saw. That was not my Uncle there. The man that I have seen all my life to be so strong and courageous was lying there....unconscious, hooked to machines.

Every fiber in my being knew that this was wrong. It seemed inconceivable. He was just talking to us and being his normal, aggravating self!

Seeing him like this made me recall a conversation that we had just had the week before as I took him to the Dr. He made the comment that he made my Mom the health care surrogate. I was confused because I had always been the emergency contact and EVERYTHING else in his life. He explained that he didn't put me because "You wouldn't pull the plug"......I laughed and said that if he coughed the wrong way I would pull it!

You see, that was our way. We were always honest with one another, but tried to make even the hard stuff lighter with laughter. He has the same sense of humor as me and we would always have a great time laughing and talking together.

I knew that he would not want to be hooked up to that machine if the doctors gave him no chance. We waited to see what they would say. It felt like forever. There were many times that we thought that his last breath was very near.

He just held on. I am not sure what he was holding on for....I cannot think of anyone else that wanted to see Jesus as much as him! When he accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior, he was a changed man! You know, it was like that old Allen just died and a new creation was born, just like the Bible tells us. He was more compassionate and had a servant's heart. He worked at the church that he attended. He was able to use his gift of being a carpenter for God's glory! He took great pride in all that he did there. But beyond that, he was different with his family. He really took time with us. He absolutely adored my kids!


When I was pregnant with Mr. Man, he kept saying that he was a boy...he just knew it! He was such a wonderful person for him to be around. He loved to hunt and fish....he took alot of pride knowing that he would be the one to teach Mr. Man those things. He actually did take him fishing for the first time. I talked about it here. Those pictures are more priceless to me now than anything. I am thankful that I have those memories to look back on.

After given the news that we were dreading, we knew that it was time to say goodbye. I am so thankful that I had a few minutes alone with him. Time to let him know how I felt about him and reaffirm that I was happy and excited that he would soon see Jesus.


Uncle Allen took his final breath on September 30, 2009.



It still seems so bizarre to utter those words.

Somehow, I feel like this must be some horrible joke. I just know that he will come through the door at any moment. Unfortunately for me, this is reality. But to him....it is Heaven.....literally!

I don't mourn for him, as I know that he is with our Lord and Savior. I mourn for me. For the times when I need his wisdom and love. Times when my kids need that touch that only he good give. Those special memories that I just knew he would be a part of.

I am so thankful for the time that he was present in my life. I cannot explain to you how deeply I cared for this man. He was so much more than an Uncle. On Thanksgiving, it was truly surreal for him to not be at the dinner table. Christmas will just not be the same without him here.

So when you are with your family this Christmas season, hold on a little longer, squeeze a little tighter, and let them know how you feel about them. Life is but a vapor. Pettiness should not factor in to a true, loving relationship.


What I would give to have 5 minutes with him. I believe that he knew how I feel about him. I know that given the opportunity, he wouldn't come back. Would you?


Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my heart with you. I don't take it lightly that you have chosen to read my blog. I count it a privilege!

I pray many blessings upon you and your family for this Christmas season!

Blessings,

Kim

Transparency......

There are a few things about myself that I realized over the last few months.

One of these things is my lack of transparency.

Oh, I used to be very transparent. Too transparent at times. I would give my life story at the drop of a hat. I would give details that may be considered "too much information."

It is a little different now. (except for those "lucky" few people lol!)

You see, I have gotten a little more careful with my life. Who I choose to let in and give access to. I consider it a privilege to be allowed to roam around in someones life. If I choose to let you in, that means that I will listen to your advice and concerns for my life.

There is power in that.

I have realized that I allowed to many people to have free roam in my life. I don't have ill feelings to anyone, I just recognized that such freedom shouldn't be given lightly. Nor should it be out of habit. The ability to solicit advice is powerful. When we receive advice from someone, we are allowing them to walk around in our lives. We can never underestimate the power of advice given. Words are very powerful. They can change the way we think about an issue. Particularly if we are not grounded in the Word.

I have recently went through some pretty life changing events that are both public and private. During these times, I have endured my share of heartache, as well as joy and confirmation. I have learned that not everyone will be happy with my decisions, nor will they understand them. That has been a hard concept for me......that while I know I am being obedient, others may not like my decision and give me grief about it.

It is in the times of conflict or great resolution that I must rely solely on God. HE will be delighted with my joys and hurt in my sorrow. He can and will take the place of that well meaning friend who can let you down. He can allow you to be completely open and honest without the fear of being rejected.

There is a certain freedom that I have felt since all of my life changes have been made. Freedom in knowing that I am being obedient, is among the first joys that I am experiencing. I also feel that for the first time, my priorities are in order. The way that God has intended them to be.

1) God
2) Family (including the sub-heading here-husband, THEN kids)
3) Church
4) Everything else

For so long, I have been very out-of-whack with my priorities. It has left people feeling unimportant in my life. I want these things that I have learned to stick.

*For me to have a closer relationship with my Lord and Savior than I did today.
*For me to adore and value my husband and treat him the way that God has intended.
*For my kids to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I think they are the best things since sliced bread. To raise them in Godly wisdom and love.
*To value the friendships that God has placed in my life. I have realized that friendships are not a place to crave excess. The friendships that weigh you down or do not make you a better person are not needed.
*To have a desire to see everyone in my life come to know Christ and that there should be evidence of growth in their lives.

There are many other things that I have learned lately. Some things are private and I cannot share them here. I would love to know that everyone that reads this blog is on my side and can understand where I am coming from, but that just isn't the case. So here I go......I am choosing to be a little less transparent.

I hope that you have been living a blessed life since the last time I posted!
Blessings,
Kim
Next post....an update on what has been happening in my life since I last posted.

A quick little update.....

It seems that blogging has been fewer and farther between. It is not my intentions to leave anyone hanging, it has just been an interesting few months! Please stick with me!

So many life changes in such a short time, I hardly know where to begin.

I would have to say that the girls are doing well in school. They both got their interims and made all A's and one B!! I am a proud Momma!

We are trying to get settled in with our new schedule. With me going to school two days a week, I have to make some adjustments to our normal activities. It has been a struggle at times, but I think that it will work...eventually!

My Uncle has had some health issues that we have been dealing with. If you think of it, add him to your prayer list. His name is Allen. We appreciate all the prayers that we can get!

I have applied to the nursing program. The application period is from September 1-30, so I will hopefully know something the second week of October. I truly have a peace about whatever may happen. I know that everything happens in God's perfect timing!

Kevin has also started school! I am so proud of him! He wanted to go for a while, but I think that fear held him back. How many times have I allowed the enemy to lie to me? Too many to name! But what is important is that he is going now! I know that he will be great at his new profession!

I tried to give you tidbits of what's what....I will post more later!

I hope that today found you in the House of the Lord!

Blessings,

Kim

Just wanted to share.......

I found this little gem online the other day......................

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather, to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." ~Henri Nouwen

This was a neat "Amen" moment for me. I think that so many times, we feel the need to fix things for the people we love. Sometimes, we may just need to be present. I pray that I can be these things for those who I love!

I hope that you have had a blessed week!

Blessings,

Kim

Those two little words......

Okay, I must admit it.

I have been a horrible blogger! Not that you didn't notice or anything!

I have so much that I would like to share with all of you. But here's the thing...........

I am waiting.

Waiting for God to give me the green light.

I want to share only what He would have me share. These last couple of weeks have been very enlightening. I have attempted to share ALOT, but then am prompted to guard my tongue.

So, I will share with you, I PROMISE!!!!!

I just had to write and let everyone know that I am alive and well..........

I figured that I must do this, because one of my friends recently posted on my facebook page, "Blog, please". So for you Sabrina, I am blogging.

Sorry for the lapse in non-writing. I will try really hard to be better!

I hope that you are having a wonderful week!

Blessings,

Kim

The grades are in..........

After what seemed like an eternal semester, I am finally finished. I thought that it would never end!

I am glad to say that I ended with an A in Humanities 2 and a C in Intermediate Algebra.

I am perfectly happy with my C. thankyousomuch.

I have never claimed to be a math genius, so mediocre suits me just fine!

This next semester should be pretty interesting.....

I am only taking 2 classes again,

BUT...........

since I didn't register until later, I have to drive 50 miles one way to another campus!! That will bless ya!

ALSO.........

I am taking Lit and Algebra. Oh yeah, I am a glutton.

We shall see how this all pans out!

I hope that you are all enjoying the last bit of your summer!

I can't wait for school to start again for the kids.....I am tired of all the fighting!

Blessings,

Kim