Monday, November 9, 2009


There are a few things about myself that I realized over the last few months.

One of these things is my lack of transparency.

Oh, I used to be very transparent. Too transparent at times. I would give my life story at the drop of a hat. I would give details that may be considered "too much information."

It is a little different now. (except for those "lucky" few people lol!)

You see, I have gotten a little more careful with my life. Who I choose to let in and give access to. I consider it a privilege to be allowed to roam around in someones life. If I choose to let you in, that means that I will listen to your advice and concerns for my life.

There is power in that.

I have realized that I allowed to many people to have free roam in my life. I don't have ill feelings to anyone, I just recognized that such freedom shouldn't be given lightly. Nor should it be out of habit. The ability to solicit advice is powerful. When we receive advice from someone, we are allowing them to walk around in our lives. We can never underestimate the power of advice given. Words are very powerful. They can change the way we think about an issue. Particularly if we are not grounded in the Word.

I have recently went through some pretty life changing events that are both public and private. During these times, I have endured my share of heartache, as well as joy and confirmation. I have learned that not everyone will be happy with my decisions, nor will they understand them. That has been a hard concept for me......that while I know I am being obedient, others may not like my decision and give me grief about it.

It is in the times of conflict or great resolution that I must rely solely on God. HE will be delighted with my joys and hurt in my sorrow. He can and will take the place of that well meaning friend who can let you down. He can allow you to be completely open and honest without the fear of being rejected.

There is a certain freedom that I have felt since all of my life changes have been made. Freedom in knowing that I am being obedient, is among the first joys that I am experiencing. I also feel that for the first time, my priorities are in order. The way that God has intended them to be.

1) God
2) Family (including the sub-heading here-husband, THEN kids)
3) Church
4) Everything else

For so long, I have been very out-of-whack with my priorities. It has left people feeling unimportant in my life. I want these things that I have learned to stick.

*For me to have a closer relationship with my Lord and Savior than I did today.
*For me to adore and value my husband and treat him the way that God has intended.
*For my kids to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I think they are the best things since sliced bread. To raise them in Godly wisdom and love.
*To value the friendships that God has placed in my life. I have realized that friendships are not a place to crave excess. The friendships that weigh you down or do not make you a better person are not needed.
*To have a desire to see everyone in my life come to know Christ and that there should be evidence of growth in their lives.

There are many other things that I have learned lately. Some things are private and I cannot share them here. I would love to know that everyone that reads this blog is on my side and can understand where I am coming from, but that just isn't the case. So here I go......I am choosing to be a little less transparent.

I hope that you have been living a blessed life since the last time I posted!
Next update on what has been happening in my life since I last posted.