Saturday, October 11, 2008

Somewhere in between.....

There is always something comforting about the familiar. Familiar faces, places and traditions. We like to know that there are some things that remain constant.

Like the old friend that we can call anytime.

Like that favorite pair of pajamas that are so comfy.

Like the restaurant that we go to have our favorite meal.

It is amazing how the familiar can be so welcoming.


It can also become well,

Let me explain my reasoning behind this profound theory.

I live about 15 minutes from where I grew up, in a different town. I love where I live now. I love everything about it. I love that the schools are absolutely wonderful, I love that my kids are happy here and I love that there is a sense of community.

Problem is, I am not part of it.

We went to a local restaurant here and as I looked around I saw no one that I knew. Now understand, I was not looking particulary fetching that night, so there was no real love loss there.

But as I looked around, I realized that if I were just 15 minutes west, I would know everyone.

Everything that we do revolves around our home town. We go to church there and we have family there. Since we spend so much time at church, it seems that we are in "the hometown" alot. But we live here.

It took some time for me to learn to love my hometown again. After I got married, I needed "new". We moved to another city about 20 minutes away. It was Heaven. I loved living there too. Unfortunately, we had to move back "home". I fought God hard on this one.

Hard. I did not want to move back.

Of course He won.

I kinda liked being anonymous in that big city where I had spent 5 years of my married life. I liked that the mall was right there, that there were MANY restaurants to choose from, and that we could choose to be involved.....or not.

Then, we moved back.

No longer did I have anonymity. Everyone knew who I was, and wanted to know my business.

Oh the joys of living in a small town.

Fast forward 2 different houses and another baby.

So, here I am 2 1/2 years living 15 minutes east of my home town, and I am once again anonymous. Although now, it kind of bothers me.

I long to be part of this community. I want to know who my kids are hanging out with and what their parents are like.

I have made a few friends here (parents of my kids friends).

I am not the person that I was in high school, and am not as "out there" as I once was. It has gotten hard for me to put myself out there.......I really have to make myself.

I am stuck in the "in between" right now. In a place that I love, but with no familiar ties.

I know that this is where we are supposed to be. God has placed us here for a reason. I am to be still until He lets me know that reason.

Until then, I will try to become a little more "not anonymous"!!