God's prompting.......

Okay, remember back when I posted this http://cogdillfamily.blogspot.com/2008/09/why-do-i-do-this.html

And I said that I would blog sometimes about things that would be painful or not shed a favorable light on me?

Well, I have one to share.

I share not for any other reason but to say that it hurts God's heart when we are not obedient, and I am proof of that today.

A few years ago, I had a friend that was going through some rough spots in her life. We were not best friends, but she became someone that I enjoyed talking to, and sharing about what God was doing in each of our lives. I went to church with this woman, and she was an active member. I grew to care about her and her family deeply.

When the rough patches hit, I tried to be there for her, but she was a private person, and had a hard time sharing about the intimate details of her life. I vowed to pray for her and her family, and would listen when she needed a ear.

Over the last 2 years or so, she became very wrapped up in the events of her life and began to slowly move away from church and eventually even stopped coming. I was greatly saddened by this, and kept feeling that God was prompting me to contact her.

Did I?

I am ashamed to say, no.

I even got a phone call from a family member.
I told them that I would call or go see her.

I didn't.

What has happened next is something that I will forever have etched in my mind.

I received a phone call from the family member on my home from church this evening. I spoke to this person about how their life is going and was absolutely thrilled to hear from them! Then, God prompted me to ask about this dear woman. What I heard broke my heart.

Not only does this person not live in my hometown anymore, but her marriage has crumbled.

Devastated could not be a more appropriate word for what I felt at that moment.

I missed it.

The opportunity that I had to be there for this woman, I totally missed it.

God spoke to me, and I ignored Him. He gave me a chance to minister to someone and I blew it.

As I spoke to the family member, all I could do was cry.

And apologize.

But somehow, the apology doesn't matter much. It is just another word that flows from my mouth that ended up being an empty promise.

How ashamed I feel right now, knowing that this lady needed someone to be there for her, and I choose to not be there. After all, we are all adults here..........when we don't listen to the prompting of God, we are choosing to be disobedient. I mean, lets call it what it truly is! We are saying that in spite of all He has done for us, that our work that we have planned for ourselves is of greater importance than what He is asking us to do.

As I type this, I wonder........what were my reasons for not reaching out when I was told to.

Was I too busy?
Was it a little too inconvenient?
Was I a little uncomfortable?

Whatever the reason that I gave at the time, I guess it seemed to be good enough for me to have been completely disobedient.

How wrong I was.

I guess that you could say that the purpose of writing this post is simply this.

Follow God's prompting.

We may not understand the reasons that God has behind it, but we should never second guess God.

I am now left in a place of shame and guilt. How could I have done this to another Christian? How could I have been so blinded by my own life that I didn't care that someone needed me?

Here's the neat part, this is where the good stuff kicks in.

God's forgiveness and grace.

In a world filled with bitterness, anger, resentment and unforgiveness, I can turn to my Heavenly Father and know that:
-I am forgiven
-He still loves me
-He will never leave me, nor forsake me
-He will always be there to hold me in His arms and tell me that He is still in control!

See, I am so thankful that God loves me enough to give me that spiritual spanking when I need it, but then turns around and gives me all the love I will ever need.

As for my dear friend, I am going to contact her and ask for forgiveness. I know that she will forgive me, cause that is the kind of person she is!

I can honestly say that I don't know how people who are not saved get through this life. I tried to make it on my own for 27 years and didn't do a very good job. The last 6 years of my life have been the best ever! I am thankful that God didn't give up on me!

Please listen to the prompting of God. You may not understand, but the important thing is to be obedient!

Blessings,
Kim